I know its stupid to even look at your ex’s facebook. I tell myself that I will just take a peek on how he’s doing or so… then you find out that they were getting even more in love with his brand new girl.
So now here I am, broken in pieces. Shattered in pain and its my fault. I cry at my own stupidity. Even worse, you see him commenting on “her” photos and saying how adorable this girl was when you two were trying to “fix” things. I mean, seriously. Why does he even bother speaking to me at that time when he’s busy adoring someone else?
I dont even know how I manage to work at this disaster state. I am really sad. I dont even know how I manage to show people at work that I am okay, when in fact, when I go home I only think of one person and that person brings so much pain to me and tears. I do not even know how I manage to stay on top of my performance at work when I am not okay. lucky? maybe. most likely.
I just thought, that maybe… since I cannot get a ‘life’, a person who truly would be there for me.. maybe I should strive to get something else.. I must get something else I WANT instead of a SOMEBODY. I just don’t know what to do from now.
There’s just only one thing in my heart. Only one, but there is no cure. Not even looking back or going back. It won’t cure. The damage has been done.